I Swear To Cookani...

If ONE more person asks me where the cookies are when I sneak out and go to parties...I WILL eviscerate everyone around me and I won't stop until everyone begs me for forgiveness...

Nah, I'm just fuckin with you. I don't care. I'll just put a roofi in your girlfriends drink and take advantage of her while you eat the cookies I laced with arsenic.

Nah, I'm still just fuckin with you. I'll just piss on your toothbrush...

I'm not kidding...

Keebler

The Three R's

There are three "R's" that all Elves must live by

Really work hard

Really try to stay alive

and

Robotrip often

If you do that, you are a good Elf...

Keebler

Papa Elf Found My Computer

That's why I haven't had a new blog in a while. I have had to sneak in and go to another Elf's secret computer. And with that I was only allowed to be on for 2 minutes. But now I have my own computer again! :)

But Papa Elf will be suspicious so I will have to play it cool sometimes.

Well, this is what's been happening:

We successfully mated rancors...but then we found out they were just faking it.

We were able to create a new cookie...but then we found out it is poisonous to humans.

We invented a new dance...but then found out it attracts bears.

We had a great feast...but birds flew by and ate the food and some Elves.

We killed a live goat...but then found out it wasn't a goat at all...still don't know what it is.

and finally...

We had a massive orgy...but then found out one of us had gonorrhea...time will tell who was fucked...literally.

So that's it for the update! Thanks for checking back, and I will see you when I-OH MY COOKANI WHAT IS THAT?!

Keebler